There are different times and contexts in which couples may seek therapy. Some involve counselling at the beginning or changing stages of the relationship and some are to deal with chronic (long-term) or traumatic issues that may develop between those in an enduring relationship.
If I had to suggest counselling for any major stage of life, pre-marriage counselling would be very high on the list! Why? When two people from differing backgrounds begin a life together, there are a lot of assumptions that each brings into the relationship. Some assume they will have children. Some assume they will not. Some have professional goals that involve amassing personal wealth, while others prefer a more Spartan life in which service to others is a central life purpose. We all have gaps (sometimes very large ones) in our understanding of others and love can blind us to things we might need to consider before starting a life with someone. A pre-marriage therapist – I use “pre-marriage” as this is a common term, but the relationship may not involve marriage – will help you understand your life goals, assumptions and ambitions and help you to consider how much these might be in alignment with the person you want to marry. This can be one of the most valuable things you consider in planning to get married.
Couples Counselling When Expecting a Child
This therapy can be for those who are waiting for the birth of their own child, those who are going through medical procedures to help with the birth, those who adopt a child or any other situation in which a new life is about to join the couple in a family relationship. Having a child can cause us to reflect on our own childhoods – both the good and the bad. Having someone to discuss these things with can help ease the transition to parenting. There are also expectations each parent has for the other and expressing these openly in a safe environment can help to create a nurturing environment for the expected child.
Couples Counselling for Trauma
Trauma can include may causes, but if a couple is able to talk through their difficulties together – and learn coping strategies for when times are tough – this can help both recover from the traumatic experiences.
Couples Sex Therapy
There are many sorts of compatibility between two people and sex can be a very significant consideration. Some people want to have it a lot and want to explore. Others may want to focus on emotions and familiarity. Seeking counselling when you are struggling in this area can require a bit of bravery, but help to strength the relationship of couples.
Couples Grief Counselling
Just as we might need counselling individually when someone we love dies, if the death deeply affects both people in the relationship, couples counselling can allow both people to share their grief openly. This can help the couple to grow stronger through difficulty, rather than drift apart – or look for understanding or companionship outside of the relationship which might weaken the couple’s bond.
Couples Counselling for Changing Life Stages
Children leaving home, long-term illness, retirement, one or both people moving to a nursing home – having someone to facilitate these conversations can help couples adjust to the changes that are ahead.
Couples Counselling Wellington
If you are a couple in Wellington who might be experiencing difficulty or want to strengthen your relationship, contact us to see how we can help.